My Secret Shame

I know everyone has a junk drawer that random things get shoved into and forgotten about. Some have junk closets that serve the same purpose. I have a drawer and a cupboard and a closet or two where all my unnecessary items get put. But I carry this hiding of crap one step further. And this is my secret shame…

I shove things under the couch when I am too lazy to put them away or throw them away. Mine you, this is not food or other things that will start smelling. But wrappers, those magazine inserts, fake nails that I pull off, all go under or behind the couch. Some of the things that I squirrel away are things I don’t want my son playing with or seeing– bubbles, my hair clips, the remote, etc…

I realized that this may be a weird and more ecompassing habit when I was scooping dog poop in the yard. For a moment I had the urge to just throw it over the fence and forget about it. That got me thinking about the odd way in which I use my couch to hide things. And how, on a much lesser scale, I put things into closets when I cannot decide where else they should go.

I think a good part of this habit is sheer laziness. I rip one fake fingernail off and simply do not feel like getting off my ass to go and throw it away. Why make the long trek to the kitchen?

The good news, though, is that when I moved my couch to paint the living room there wasn’t anywhere near as much junk around it as I thought. Maybe there is hope for me yet. Maybe my secret shame isn’t quite as heinous as I think. Still, please do not look under my couch when you visit. It’s better for both of us.